“Parang gusto kong tumalon…” I utter as I watch the beautiful sunset over the sea. The sun glitters look like broken mirrors drifting with the current. Passing boats shatter each fragment even further. The sun’s golden rays reflect on the surface of the water and dance with the soft waves.
I can count on one hand the times I’ve seen a sunset like this. Usually, its light blends quietly into the sky. But today, the sun chose to stretch its rays across the horizon.
It’s like a blazing pool of light that draws you in.
It makes me want to jump and feel that orange warmth swallow me whole.
Consume me. Devour me.
“‘Wag kang tumalon! Magiging okay din ang lahat. Kaya mo ‘yan!” a friend joked as I stepped closer to the edge.
Is this the end? That depends on how you choose to see it.
How do you cope with having your heart handed back to you, bruised and scraped? How do you deal with the tears that refuse to fall, though you know they’re there? How do you calm a mind that insists on finding answers to every question it runs into?
And how…just how do you keep walking when someone blocks the path you spent years building together?
The answer: Surrender. You surrender.
You lay down your armor. You raise your white flag high. And you accept defeat with a bittersweet smile.
You let go. And you let the current carry you nowhere. You float and let the water caress you with comfort. With longing. With love.
Up and down. Up and down. The waves toy with you — lifting you just enough to taste the air, then dragging you under again. Salt water floods your mouth, stings your throat, fills your chest with fire. The longer the water drowns you, the greater your desire to survive.
This cliff, my cliff, as others might see it, is a dangerous spot where one can accidentally (or intentionally) slip and fall.
It may seem dangerous or dangerously inviting, I must say. But this very edge, I believe, is the beginning of the vast waters that could carry me to places I never thought I’d long for. Standing at its edge makes me want to swim, to run to a home I’ve never lived a day in, yet my heart longs to return to.
One jump. One brave jump. And maybe, the ocean will finally hold me.
If I ever leap, I want it to be with a lighter heart. A braver one.
So long, my ocean. I’m home at last.
📍 Balatang Bato, Tingloy, Batangas, 4206 Philippines
Tingloy, Batangas Travel Guide
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